Crime Fiction And Satire Enthusiast Pillows

'I have lots of experience. I was a loan shark for a decade.'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

Police Lineup Escape

The Mousetrap, by Agatha Christie

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

Arrest of La Tuta

"Any clues?"

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

Edgar Wallace.

"For a masked intruder, you seem to know your way around the house."

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'

'I'm in for identity theft, I stole it off someone who was wanted for murder.'

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

"It was passed from my grandfather to my father, from my father to me, and now from me to you. Twenty bucks."

"You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?"

"Everyone we know is escaping and you sit there doing nothing."

'All your money or the pig sneezes!'

'I think my husband is trying to bore me to death.'

'First off, your average Paolozzi has far fewer holes than your Moore.'

Mafia machine gun case.

Two cosa nostra gangsters sipping tea.

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

"Do you accept ill-gotten gains?"

"We find a murdered ventriloquist dummy and have reason to believe you had a hand in it."

"Do you know what time they open love?"

An old dog learns a new trick.