Crime Capers Appreciator T-Shirts

'Relax... When I said, your husband's swimming with the fishes. I merely meant that he's gone SCUBA diving with the boss.'

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

Mou...Man trap!

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

Ignorance of the Law

'Make it look like an accident.'

Gangster's To-Do List

"Regards from the kids, grandma, mom and pop, uncle Fred , Aunt Theresa and cousins Harvey, Flo and Niki. They all want to know where you hid the loot."

A convict escaping during the press scrum

'Did you get the hit man Frankie?'

"... No, when I say, 'you must let go of the past' I mean you must return that vase to the museum you took it from."

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

Exposed and imprisoned.

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

WANTED The Strad Cad

"Then I tried the move from business casual to white collar crime."

"Don't worry, honey. This is just for our murder podcast."

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'Have you found a precedent? Yes, you did the same crime in 1974.'

Bored with retirement, the Great One tries crime.

You know retail is in a bad way when...