Cricket Critic Pillows

'Myopic amputee school girls 2nd XI v's England' Damn it, when are we going to get some decent opposition?

'Just 3 problems with the England team - they can't bat, can't bowl and can't field!'

Match-fixing (cricket)

'Cheer up Dear. There's an ad break - that'll put some excitement into watching the cricket.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

The new Physics

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

"You'll never believe who's here."

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

The Algonquin Round Table