Crib Whisperers Gifts

'Sweet dreams buddy!'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'The child is very illogical'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"He's such a fussy eater."

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

Mother Nature

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

'I'm not too sure about that.'

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

Children's education

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

'So this is goodbye then!'