Crib Counselors Pillows

"They think I don't have a clue."

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"Same old same old. How about you?"

Sausages.

Coping with a strong-willed child

"Alright! Whoa! Yes! More boiled food!"

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

"Let's hear some of that scout master wisdom now, sir!"

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

Building a Shelter

'In general, do the right thing.'

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"You're completely screwed up."

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

"And every year on this very day...he creeps into camp and steals everyones electronics."

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

'Okay guys - lights out!'

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'