Crematory Staff Pillows

Bob needs to take his job more seriously.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"Would you like some wings?"

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

Airport

Joint Ventures!

"We are now in 'The Galley,' where flight attendants scavenge for food, hoard magazines, hide from passengers and over share details of their personal lives."

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

"Let me take that for you."

'This melts in the mouth.' 'It's ice cubes.'

Going to Work. . .Coming Home

No Cabin Crew Self Service.

'Wasn't there three of you guys when we started?'

"Captain, some passengers say that they are not interested in your romance with that flight attendant, and ask you to turn the speaker off."

"I'm going to have a word with the pilot."

"Looks like you've got some competition."

"Nothing says butter - like something from the udder."

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

"That's why you're so familiar, we flew together yesterday!"

"Is there something on my face? I've never had anybody watch this demonstration before."

'You know, you remind me of me when I first started here.'

"Doesn't seem to matter how carefully you put them back together you always end up with pieces left over!"

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

He's very defensive about his personal space.

"Mt. Joe Cemetary?"

Seatbelt hangs out from the airplane door.

"So how are things back in economy?"

You always keep the same face turned this way --- Don't you trust me?

The Egyptians trained baboons to wait on tables.

'Grave rage Vicar, we get a lot of it now.'

'Hey that's our waiter on his way home!'

"No, you're not in a box. You're in an exit row. And I need you to acknowledge that verbally."

Cabin crew dilemma