Credit Score Optimizer Pillows

Worsecreditscore.com

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"No need to give me credit . . . I'll just take it."

'Remember kid, if the market goes down, it's a buying opportunity and if the market goes up it's the start of a rally.'

'The town I grew up in was so affluent they used to close the schools in honor of options expiration day.'

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

"Our credit rating has improved. There's a pre-approved credit card in the report."

Been a while since I've seen such a high scoring game!

'As your banker, I feel I should tell you, the more enlightened you become the more of a credit risk you become.'

Resume Advisor. I'm not sure "internet troll" is a resume enhancer.

'Are you kidding, you credit's better than ours.'

'Would you be interested in adding a few options?'

'Good news! Some guy stole my identity online. Now he's saddled with my bad credit rating.'

"I take it your credit score has gone up?"

For a bear, this was a good day. 'Congratulations! Your credit was approved.'

'You'll never be as good as Morecambe and Wise,'

'A bank manager will always lend you money if you can prove you don't need it!'

"So, we've processed your loan application and I'm afraid that it doesn't look too promising!"

'We found the trouble Mr. Spencer. Your credit is no good!'

A look into the future?!

'Every time I get paid my creditors form a flash mob.'

A man gets attacked by his credit report.

"Well, thanks anyway for sharing your financial plight with us."

'Oh yeah?! Well, my dad's credit score is better than your dad's!'

'Your assets speak for themselves. They say 'no'.'

'You have just been put on hold indefintely until you get a decent paying job.'

'I think my teacher is very devoted. She always says she's more interested in the outcome than her income.'

'Honey! Grab your glasses, and come check out this great video I found online!'

'Aren't you afraid of inaccuracies on your credit report?'

'Your credit rating is a bit low but we can still offer you a loan. Do you have a problem with being fitted for an electronic ankle bracelet?'

'I'm afraid we can't use your other outstanding loans as collateral.'

"Your credit rating is fine, Mr. Deadbeat. It's something else that's making lending institutions wary."