Credit History Explorer Pillows

'Just a minute while I pull up your file.'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

Gone Fishing

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

Peace in shackles.

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

Grimm's Fairytales - The Golden Bird

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

Robot Attack in Bath

When you said you were going to find your ancestors I thought you meant on the INTERNET!

Euro Balloon: Please watch out for other currencies on your way down!

"Your resume says SOB, tell me more about that."

Man: 'My family tree is infested with termites.'

'All this 'history' stuff you teach about - is it based on actual events?'

'Here, you have it. I don't think I'll be using it again.'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

'Apparently he discovered accountancy.'

"Good news, Mr. Vanderfirth. We've traced your lineage back to a woman who lived in East Africa two hundred thousand years ago."

"You must stop digging up the past."

Cycles of evolution and destruction

"Occupiers have often forced people who are polar opposites to live in one artificial 'country'."

North Korea tests a hydrogen bomb.

"Chris, find a safe and fast way into lucrative tax heavens!"

Highland cow and Scottish bull fighter.

'I've traced out family tree back to some lizards in the Mesozoic era.'

For a bear, this was a good day. 'Congratulations! Your credit was approved.'

Pagoda

Contact Tree-Huggers.com for info on tax-deductible charitable trusts.

Did you celebrate Barack Obama yesterday? Why? Because it was President's Day and it's Black History Month. I celebrated half of him. When do you celebrate the other half? St. Patrick's Day. But he's only part Irish. West Fester.

Turns out it's just a shopping list. Milk.

"To open a new credit account, I need to see some credit history."