Credit Explorer Pillows

'...and with our new credit scheme. You can buy now and pay as you leave the store.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

The Elephant in the Womb

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

Ego Increasing School

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'

Museum of Natural Cliches

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Street painter puts real face on man with happy face.

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"I ask you, what would life be like without similes?"

Devil in the detail

The Fascinating Language of Ambivalence, Decoded.

He wouldn't be calling the kettle that again.

"They say the early bird gets the worm, but something's rotten in Denmark with this scenario!"

Axel, if I were to give you one piece of advice in life, it would be this: Don't hide your light under a bushel

"Say these things, don't think them!"

Dog Beginning For A Loan

'I'd trust you anywhere - I think!'

"I though you said I should take the ball and slowly meander around with it."

'Mommy! Larry's making faces again!'

Irony: Then and Now

'They're encyclopedias, Timmy... They're an early form of Google.'

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

"I always knew I was cutting edge - I've gone cashless my entire life."