Creative Authors Gifts

"His prose, however, is very elegant."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

The Art Student.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Campaign for Plain English

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Meet The Author"

Edgar Allen Poe

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Thomas Mann.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Meet the author"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Victor Hugo

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Do me next."