Creation Story Collector Pillows

And on the Eighth Day, He invented those who believed he did it all in Seven.

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Brainstorm in progress.

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"Shall we put it in play?"

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"I told you not to hold your breath when comping up!"

''Masterpiece Theater' will not be seen tonight, so that we may bring you 'Slushpile Showplace'....'

Who's Dead

Newborn making the V-sign

God's Phone

"I've seen a lot in my time, Ted, but it was always from the cheap seats."

Master Humphrey's visionary friends

'How do I know if it's seaworthy?'

"Damn, I forgot to create the 'control-Z' command."

'Neat photo Lucy, I'll put it up in my room... Do you have any drawing pins?'

"When my Tia Maggie got married, she wanted 8 kids...and her husband wanted 2 kids."

Heavenly meetings.

"We met through a contact tracing app."

God Choosing How to Shape the World

"As I call each of your names, please answer by saying 'Present'"

Excess Baggage: As soon as you pick a vacation destination, people who have never been there start to tell you horror stories about the place.

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

'Man, am I hungover. Hope I haven't done anything stup... Hey, where did THAT come from?'

"I know about the tooth fairy, but I feel a bit young to be selling off my body parts!"

'Look, thanks for your concern, but I think a flood is something we can cope with!'

'So, what did you decide - Flat earth or 3-D?'