Crafty Communicators Pillows

I'm listing "origami" as a hobby on this dating site because it sounds better than "I like to make paper airplanes." What's a euphemism for "beer"?

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

Direct Marketing...

"I'm fascinated by body language."

Target your message

Wordplay: Export.

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

Time for speeches

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

~ S.O.S.

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

"I appreciate succinct memos, Phillips, but stop writing them all in Haiku!"

'Actually, when I asked you to bring something fresh to the table, I was talking about ideas!'

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

'I'm dropping you a lion.'

"I'm just posting something to my wall."

Hieroglyph stamps.

"They're on a silent retreat."

The Curse of Rhadamanthus (For Pete's Sake)

'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'

Advertising Lessons from the Old School