Clever Communicators Pillows

'You look like a strong man -- could you get the lid off this container of birth control pills?'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

Ninedency: A budding tendency

Direct Marketing...

I'm not sure which, but he's just invented either writing or vandalism. (Published originally on Feb. 11, 2011.)

Target your message

Wordplay: Export.

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

Teacher getting the childrens attention by pretending to be on television.

"Those are wonderful insights jack but we're, Looking for actual ideas."

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

Time for speeches

'Of course, this social contract will have to remain hypothical until someone invents writing.'

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

~ S.O.S.

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

The Weather Channel. We're looking for someone who can talk up a storm.

'Of course I can spell -- I just can't spell conventionally.'

"I just want someone who texts me as often as Joe Biden does, you know?"

"I appreciate succinct memos, Phillips, but stop writing them all in Haiku!"

Communication

'Actually, when I asked you to bring something fresh to the table, I was talking about ideas!'

'Don't jump. It's a book publisher!'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"I'm just posting something to my wall."

The Curse of Rhadamanthus (For Pete's Sake)