Crafting Maven Pillows

Knitting

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"Like that?"

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

Man admires his Cubist Painting.

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

'U.S. Manufacturing'

Don't bother Daddy -- he's just upset because Lady Godiva joined the anti-Crusade movement.'

Bleak House

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."

Business News: Economic Growth Indicators are Up, Led By Car Repairs, Divorce Costs, Open Heart Surgeries and Toxic Waste Cleanups.

'Side effects include, headache, dry mouth, muscle fatigue and turning into a frog.'

'We finally came up with a cubicle design that really works.'

"Just what we've been looking for...a happy medium."

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

'We have to be more innovative but not in an out-of-the-box way.'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

In his Last Moments, A Soldier Seeks Forgiveness for his Sins (History of the Crusades).

Sensitivity Reader

"And this one is made of ancient crystals that detoxify the air and remove all the money from your pocket."

'That was your grandfather -- his catapult went off while he was cleaning it.'