Crafting A Will Gifts

"And I being of sound find authorise that my entire stock of kryptonite be distributed amongst the citizens of Planet Zug.."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

'What'll it be?'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Contest of wills.

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

"I love my George. He has a will of his own, and it's made out in my favour."

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

"I, Arthur, being of sound mind, have spent it all on wine, women and song."

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

"You can scatter my remains at my ex-wife's apartment."

"Smoke, drink and womanize as much as you like but don't forget to update your will..."

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

'It seems in the case of the late Little Miss Tuffet, where there's a will there's a whey.'

"Unless you really don't like one of your children, it's best to leave your debt divided equally between them."

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

'For those with particularly ungrateful children,the inheritance tax can be a comfort.'

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

'Your Great Uncle has left you all his money in this family heirloom!'

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

"I stopped believing in free will when I had my lawyer write mine."

'It reads; 'Being of sound mind, I stashed the lot where those greedy, good for nothing freeloaders will ever find it'.'

"If it's any consolation, I had you as my beneficiary."

"If I could pick just one keepsake, I think it would be the mutual funds."

'... and to my yoga instructor, I leave my entire body.'

"That reminds me, we must sort out your will."

"Well, at least you don't have to worry about inheritance tax."

'...and to his son, he has left his leprosy...'