Cracker Critics Mugs

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

'You reek of crackers.'

How The Ice Age Began: 'OK, can we freeze it right there...'

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"I need a vacation. Everything is starting to smell like a bomb to me."

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

'Dear father for what I am about to receive I give thee thanks.'

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"He's not good with criticism."

Do Not Enter and No U Turns

"The real question is do you really need a cracker?"

A parrot business meeting

C is for Cracker

'You're insecure because your data is unsecured.'

Polly want a cracker?

"That's just the meds kicking in."

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

Insulting Cashpoint

"My trun!!"

"Poor Sadie, this Pesach she finally cracked."