Crabby Humor Enthusiast Gifts

'Stop touching me.'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Police Feline Unit

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

Cariactures

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Do Not Resuscitate

Faster, Georges, faster!

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Selling lemon latt�

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

'Cannonball!'

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

Here and There Trays

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'