Crab Aficionado Gifts

Tonight he would be a hermit no more.

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Desert Island Meals.

Omara Portuondo

'So who needs sonar?!'

"It's called 'semelparity' darling. The salmon spawn then die, so we just need to wait at the spawning grounds to get an easy feed. It's all about sustainability."

The Origami Society...

Crab with a clown face.

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"What's remarkable is that just last week he was lying despondent on the beach."

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

"Well, looks like Bob has hooked another baby kraken."

Swimming Prankster

Ice Fly-Fishing with Doug

"Dad, Dad, cage divers! Get the hacksaw and let's scare the heck out of them!"

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

Cat to fisherman about his caught fish: 'Let me clean them.'

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

"This family seems to multiply every year."

Whale Romance

"From downtown...the shark scores!"

"I'll have a man overboard!"

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"This place could use a moat!"

'You go ahead and eat. I'm on a raw food diet and surfer isn't part of it.'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

"Give a man a fish, you cut your throat. Teach a man to fish, you're a damn fool."

Magician Playing Golf.

"Little Jamie would like you both to know that he's now into sharks."

'And get this: just when I thought the worst was over, the media blasts me for 'opportunistic, predatory business tactics!' Boy, did THAT sting!'

'Standing on tiptoe waving your claw may attract a crab, but it certainly doesn't woo me.'