Cowpat Connoisseur T-Shirts

Behind the cow is a manure castle. 'Yeah...It's a gift.'

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

'I'm also fluent in Geek.'

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Malcolm Sargent

"Don't worry your majesty, they can't see you, this is a one way mirror."

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"I thought he was into fitness, but his 'fitness tracker' turned out to be a flea and tick collar."

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

'Why do they call these conventions when everyone here is so unconventional?'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

Inaction Figure

'Uh-oh, Ben's making his move on Goldie's food again.'

"Dr. Livingstone will see you now."

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

Pisa Hut.

'Whatever, crosswords are stupid.'

Litteratti K9s.

'The first cocktail.'

"I've decided to uninstall your personality and upload mine."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"In da house"

Working from Home.

"Mom wants us to spend 'Quality time' together, so don't blame me."

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Stephen Harpers's China Diary - Great Wall Tour.