Courtside Commentator T-Shirts

'This is Mr. Arnold. Mr. Arnold is a season ticket holder. I've brought him down to the floor so that he can explain what he means when he yells, 'Pull your heads out...'

'I hope you realize I let you win.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

The Jose Padilla Experience

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

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'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"Overruled."

"Not guilty"

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

I know "Ignorance of the law is no excuse" applies to defendants your honor, but

Clarence Thomas

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'I need some time off. I just discovered that I'm suing myself.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

Audiovisual law

"Hi from the US Supreme Court conservative majority...we hope you're all enjoying this campaign season!"

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

'As it turned out, circumstantial evidence was all they needed.'

"To the unsophisticated, I suppose, I'm guilty."

Judge Yomp (work boxes): 'Truth...Nothing but the truth.'

'I think it's called RED!'

'Oh great, not him. That lawyer is as crooked as them come. We're screwed.'

QC appointments fall to all time low.

"He wasn't quite dark enough to name 'midnight' so I named him ten o'clock."