Courtside Commentator Pillows

'This is Mr. Arnold. Mr. Arnold is a season ticket holder. I've brought him down to the floor so that he can explain what he means when he yells, 'Pull your heads out...'

'I hope you realize I let you win.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

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"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

'Then if there are no objections, we will recess until tomorrow morning.'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"Overruled."

"Not guilty"

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

Clarence Thomas

'I need some time off. I just discovered that I'm suing myself.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

"Hi from the US Supreme Court conservative majority...we hope you're all enjoying this campaign season!"

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

Audiovisual law

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

'As it turned out, circumstantial evidence was all they needed.'

"To the unsophisticated, I suppose, I'm guilty."

Selling Justice

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

Supine Court

QC appointments fall to all time low.

'Oh great, not him. That lawyer is as crooked as them come. We're screwed.'

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

"He wasn't quite dark enough to name 'midnight' so I named him ten o'clock."