Courtroom Style Guru Pillows

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

"Impartiality becomes you."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

''Congress shall make no law'... now, I wonder what they meant by that...?'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Counsel's Opinion.

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

Criminal Stupidness

Judge

'Brain surgery, right?'

AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES UNION ACLU, HELP TAKE A BITE OUT OF LAW, 'I like it!'

"Not guilty, Your Honor, on the basis of a previously undiagnosed and untreated case of Integrity Deficit Disorder!"