Courtroom Romantic Pillows

"Some call it jury tampering. I call it destiny."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

"We won!"

"Now that's a win."

Sue the Author 3PM

"Bailiff."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'What'll it be?'

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'You are both charged with quarrelling without a license!'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"They're class action figures."

Sue The Bastards

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Contest of wills.

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."