Courtroom Cupid Pillows

"I remember the day we met, me in wig and gown looking down at you, so lovely, standing in the dock."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"We won!"

"Now that's a win."

Sue the Author 3PM

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"Bailiff."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

A baby in court

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Sue The Bastards

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'You are both charged with quarrelling without a license!'

"They're class action figures."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"