Courtroom Queen Gifts

'You're three o'clock cancelled, we're still awaiting the Parson verdict, and your husband wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Bailiff."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

Yawning barristers in court

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Arrogant junior barrister

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Counsel's Opinion.

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

Pinocchio and Partners Lawyers.

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

'Either it's a mistake, or this town's gone soft on crime.'

'Well, son, the justice system depends on finding 12 people who are smart and impartial enough to judge the accused intelligently without malice or favor.'