Courtroom Diva T-Shirts

'On the bright side, I can now tell all my lawyer friends I argued in front of the supreme court.'

Trial by Media

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

"We won!"

"Now that's a win."

Barristers

Sue the Author 3PM

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Now that I've swung back to depression, I'm truly sorry for what I did when I was manic."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"Lights! Camera! Justice!"

'We have irreconcilable differences -- he's a MAN!'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'You are both charged with quarrelling without a license!'

"Am I going to get my just desserts?"

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Sue The Bastards

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."