Courtroom Romancer T-Shirts

"Isn't it wonderful, Judge,we started out as co-defendants and ended up co-dependents!"

Trial by Media

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Barristers

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"Boy is he good! He's even got me convinced you're guilty!"

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

Robert Macaire as a Solicitor

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

Contest of wills.

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'Why is it always about me?'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

"Please accept the apologies of this court. You're free to go now, and, by the way, here's your DNA back."

Arrogant junior barrister

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"To indict or not to indict... No, to charge or not to charge... No..." "Don't worry. I know how this turns out." "Mueller's Hamlet"