Courtroom Comedian Club Pillows

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Gary turns 40.

"Just for the heck of it, how do you plead?"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Bailiff."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Yawning barristers in court

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but I've got to ask you another question. I heard someone in the courtroom shout out the correct answer."

A baby in court