Courtroom Calmness Advocate T-Shirts

Zen and the Art of Litigation.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Bailiff."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

Relax.

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

'I will not have the species card played in my courtroom, Counselor.'

Restrictive Abortion Laws

'Brain surgery, right?'

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

'I'll show you my fine print, if you show me yours.'

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'

'My husband is a very large, loud and obnoxious man. OK, sure, I tried to hire a hit man. But just to hit him.'

Truth, justice and a damn good lawyer.

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

"Have you notices how Ed has changed since he started going to law school?"

'On the other hand, if we accept confessions extracted under torture then soon they won't need lawyers.'

'You're charged with being an accessory before, during and after the fact ... '

"You claim on your résumé that one of your skills is staying calm under stressful situations. I believe you."

"You've been chewed up and spitout by some very prestigious firms."

The firm took a Good Lawyed/Bad Lawyer approach to cases.

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

'According to my computer this is going to be expensive.'

'You're on trial for grand theft larceny -- you can't choose to remain anonymous!'

"When I'm with you, Miss Lawson, the billable hours just fly by."

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

If you're a defendant, this necktie has 'innocent' written all over it.

'Your honor, for personal reasons, my client would prefer to wait in his car while the verdict is being read.'