Court Show Critic Pillows

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

Gary turns 40.

The Jose Padilla Experience

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Pre-Minstrel Tension

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"We, the jury, find the defendant."

"Not guilty"

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

I know "Ignorance of the law is no excuse" applies to defendants your honor, but

No Talent Agency

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

Clarence Thomas

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'I need some time off. I just discovered that I'm suing myself.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'Slow down. . . okay. . . 'Do you solemnly swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god?''

"Do I have to pay the plaintiff the same amount again for each rerun of my case on TV?"

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

"Hi from the US Supreme Court conservative majority...we hope you're all enjoying this campaign season!"

NEW FALL LINEUP

Audiovisual law

'As it turned out, circumstantial evidence was all they needed.'

"To the unsophisticated, I suppose, I'm guilty."

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.