Court Jesting Aficionado T-Shirts

'Being a royal court jester hasn't just been all glitz and glamor you know. Oh sure, there's been a lot of laughter on the outside but tehre's been a lot of crying,dysentry,cholera,gout and bubonic plague on the inside.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

TV jester.

"Not guilty?"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"Can you hear me now?"

'Let's agree to disagree.'

"In my client's defence, the label on the bottle clearly read, 'rat poison'...not 'people poison'."

"Let's take in a trial."

'I've never sued anyone but I bet I'll be good at it.'

No offense intended your honor…It just seemed like this case screamed for a frivolous law suit…

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

He was good. Real good.

"Certainly you're entitled to justice, if you can show that you deserve it."

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

"The defendant is a danger to society and poses a flight risk."

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

"Objection over-ruled Counselor! Proceed to the clearly marked Fire Exit, if you follow my meaning."

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

"No it's not. That's his defense lawyer."

"It was a typical 'His lawyer said/Her lawyer said' situation."

'I object to the prosecution calling my client a liar. The witness is merely fact-based reality challenged.'

'During discovery we found five more things to bill about.'

"Isn't it enough that I know the truth?"

"You want the truth, the whole truth, or nothing but the truth?"

"Please read back that last remark in a more murdery voice."

'Your Honor, I'd like to cite the precedent of 'Alien vs. Predator'....'

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of a living Constitution!'