Court Jesters Of Philosophy T-Shirts

"Damn straight we're the only forms of intelligent life in the universe!"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

COWS: Cow Pong

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"I say we move on to dessert."

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

Justice 4 Ron

Medieval headlines.

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

Basketball.

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

''Congress shall make no law'... now, I wonder what they meant by that...?'

'Yeah? -- Well, there's a thin line between being a strict constructionist and being a stupid jerk!'

"I'm working as fast as I can, Mr. Sims. There are only so many billable hours in a day, you know."

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

'He's got a good attitude, and he's tall. But he's got to get into the weight room.'