Court Intrigue Gifts

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Trial by Media

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

I love Lawyers

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Now that's a win."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."

"We make crime pay."

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"#notguilty."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Yawning barristers in court

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

Justice 4 Ron

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Sue The Bastards

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"