Country Soulmates Pillows

We had the dirt delivered this morning. They said, 'It was the best birthday present ever!'.

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

"I heard they mate for life."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Farmers' Warnings.

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

Cow and Milk

Man with broken leg in cast.

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"I'll be broadminded up in heaven, but here on earth you're still a whore..."

Farmyard Sinatra - "Start spreadin'...Manure

'It never fails. The mud's always one inch higher than my boots.'

Horse Clean-up

"Well of course you're depressed... You're a country and western singer."

"I came all the way from Alabama just to see you, Susanna. Why in tarnation are you cryin'?"

Life is simpler in the sticks.

"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"

The Scenic Route

"I can remember when this was all farmland."

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

It was an impulse buy.

Can we have our hedgehog back please?(Hedgehog is stuck to the tree)

"Not tonight, hon—I've got a heartache."

Nobody noticed when poor Farmer Jack froze to death in the snow at the front of his farm.

'How is it on gas? I was afraid you were going to ask me that.'

'I LOVE YOU GUYS!' 'She's been drinking again!'

"She's all surgery and he's all pharmacy."

Clang clang. Uncle Ernie, why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

Home Sweet Home On The Range

'Was that yours Clarrie, or one of mine?'