Artist Soulmate Pillows

"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"I heard they mate for life."

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

"Out of all your 277 passwords, not once did you use my name. Are you losing feelings for me?"

Man with broken leg in cast.

"I now pronounce you Man and Wife. My sincerest condolences to you both."

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

"She's all surgery and he's all pharmacy."

"I donut know what I'd do without him."

Playing Footsies.

Now that our kids are grown and the house is paid off...

"I'm looking for the kind of relationship that won't interfere with government regulations."

"And then in Italy Giovanni has found his soulmate"

'Why am I so depressed? Because I'm so enlightened, that's why!'

Internet Dating Agency's - The download to your heart

Middle-Of-Life Choices

"Todd and I are doing our best to make it work by never meeting in real life."

Matches Made in Heaven

"Donald and I weren't made for each other, but we've never met the people we are made for."

We had the dirt delivered this morning. They said, 'It was the best birthday present ever!'.

'I'm an Earth sign and Clive is a Water sign. Together we make mud.'

Euros final

"Love is easy to find. I'm looking for someone to talk Battlestar Galactica with."

'Granted, you're his best friend, but he and I are soul mates.'

"I'm not losing my memory. I'm living in the now."

Mirror, mirror, on a nail, where exactly did I fail?

'You can have custody of the kids as long as I get custody of the money!'

'. . . so the redhead's my new soul mate.'

"Yes, Dave and Barbara are weirdos - weirdos who found what we all dream of - that one person whose weirdness perfectly compliments our own, creating an everlasting bond."