Country Estate Enthusiast Pillows

Difficult to Please

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Farmer and FIsherman

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

Get on with it!

"Westminster's over, Shep-it's all about possums now."

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

"You're famous, Angus."

"Relax. They're just crows."

About time!

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Oh God I hope that bunch of rednecks aren't waving at me!'

An English Gold Field

FREE-RANGE CIRCUIT TRAINING

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

Home Sweet Second Home.

Dear Farmer Brown - we really don't like you. The Animals.

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'The one that really gets them is a quick jab from the floor, straight back and out.'

'Now, just repeat the injections three times daily and avoid any stress.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours..."

This is probably the only time that Clem's name and the title 'Ph.D' will be used in the same sentence.

"Sorry for the racket, but, I ask you, how are ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen 6-B?"

'Ma, come see what just crawled out of the woodpile.'

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

Impressive! (Cow has stinky smoke signals).

St Bernard Toilet Holder

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

The Rudges' peaceful home