Country Club Regular Mugs

Man protecting himself from potential golfballs

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

Jurassic Country Club.

'You're away, Doc!'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"I haven't seen you in church lately, Mr. Smedly..."

Putting out on the green is called 'The Short Game'.

If swimming is such a good way to lose weight, how do you explain whales?

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

The Disadvantage of Easier Golf Courses

"They're passing a plate? Great, I'm starved!"

'How much have you lost so far?', '$375.00'

Eccentric clothing may tend to interfere with play.

"This one travels 30 yards farther when you throw it."

Noises from armpits.

'Steward, this fellow hasn't spoken for a week. Be a good chap and feel his pulse will you?'

'I don't care if it's only once every 17 years and crucial to a cicada's ability to attract a mate...'

'No wonder this club has such a low membership fee.'

"I like the look of this steamer in the 2.30."

"I'm guessing this is the first time Jack's had a chance to make par?"

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Mr. Crenshaw gave up Sunday golf to go to church.'

'For Heaven's sake Gerald, we all lead in the wrong suit some evenings.'

Angry golfer with gun

'Which do you prefer being called...'rich' or job creator'?'

The game requires no great physical strength...

"Told you it was my lucky day, I only lost £30."

'Same school, old boy, fancy a drink at the club?'

'I lied about my physique at the interview!!'

Golf Lady

"Golf is the only game that comes with a slave."

"Golf is the worst fun anyone can have."

"Please take a seat and wait! The dentist is very busy today. He has almost done eighteenth holes!"