Councilor Curious Gifts

"Having concluded, Your Highness, an exhaustive study of this nation's political, social, and economic history, and after extensive examining, Sire, the unfortunate events leading to the present deplorable state of the realm, the consensus of the Council is that Your Majesty's only course, for the public good, must be to take the next step."

"Of course it's a stupid sign, but you wouldn't believe how much money it brings in for city hall!"

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'Your copyright is invalid, you spelled (c) wrong.'

"Ah, you'll be wanting our red tape department, third door on the left!"

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

Good shrink, bad shrink.

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

Typical...You don't see one for weeks then they all arrive together.'

Applications

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

Roller skater see a sign: Nightmareville Pop. 5679 Beware Of Government Red Tape

'Our drug cartel would like to help Lambeth Council fight the cuts, respecting criteria of inclusion and diversity.'

"Paved in gold? Oh my, no. With out crumbling infrastructure we're doing well if the streets are paved at all."

Gentrification vs Manchester...

"I suppose you’re wondering why I summoned you, minion." "Not really, boss." "I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: bikinis are getting smaller and smaller, so small, in fact, that they no longer hide anything." "I think it’s about time our cafe took a stand and did something to outlaw this moral decay." "That’s why I’ve arranged for you to hand ‘campaign donations’ to several city councilmembers." "This doesn’t have anything to do with our declining donut sales, does it?" "People should never have t

"What the hell was in that?!"

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

'Wait a minute! Aren't you the chap who refused planning permission on the St., Mary's church extension?'

'Just take a smidgeon off.'

District Budget Meeting: Asprin

City Council: 'It's a sweet deal- we permit their mall, and they build our new high school within!'

'That's the Director of Housing. She isn't taking the news of the rates freeze too well...'