Couch Potato Lifestyle Gifts

'I've been thinking, Mother - if the whole civilised world was destroyed and we were the only ones left alive . . . there's no way I'd want to change a thing'

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'I met him on a Monday and my heart stood still (would you believe?)')

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Love is when you watch television together.

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

'Och lye the news'

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

Tunnel of TV

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'