Couch Potato Champion Gifts

Rodney kicked off his new fitness regime by buying a heavier remote control

Hungry Panda Thirsty Hippo Curious Sloth

"Gary had a knee replacement. He replaced it with a cup holder."

"Nothin' like Olympic athletes to remind us all that a year of sporadic Zoom workouts ain't quite the achievement we thought it was."

"Wow, all the way from the couch. Have the endorphins kicked in?"

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

'It's from the University of Life...you failed!'

Watching TV on the side.

"I want to be so successful that it ruins my life."

"Don't you think it's time you started thinking about your legacy?"

"I guess we're kind of the Marsalis Family in reverse

"OK, maybe you have put on a few pounds during lockdown."

'Just as I thought...you can't collect on the life insurance by boring me to death.'

'It's early days, but it looks as if downhill sofa jumping is fast becoming an Olympic discipline!'

'Retire? What if I want to go to college if I, you know, finish high school?'

'Now that's Real TV!'

'The sparkle has gone out of our marriage, don't you think?'

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

Putting Down Roots.

'He is in training for the London Olympics.'

"Why don't you take up a sport,son-like long distance running-away from home...?"

'Marge! Do I have a will?'

A Great Country

'Because it's my New Year's resolution. That's why I sit here all the time.'

"You know how some people feel naked without jewelry? Stewart is like that without a remote."

"And this is my husband...he's into energy conservation, mostly his own!"

"You could at least turn on the set!"

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"He spends all day sitting, so the last thing he wants to do when he comes home is do anything else."

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

"Synchronized sitting"

"He's an excellent multi-slacker."

"Oh, my bad! You're not dead, you just stopped living your life."

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

"Geoffrey's new year resolution was to give up self-respect."