Couch Negotiator T-Shirts

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

Changing Minds

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'He wants to close the deal with a handshake. What do you think about that?'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."

"At least we agree to disagree."

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"