Conflict Negotiator T-Shirts

"No, I'm not interested in your list of endangered vegetables. Just eat your dinner."

"To avoid trouble, I've brought in a troubleshooter."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'Smith, I don't like you because I searched and searched but couldn't find a reason not to like you.'

"No, no - we're the secular-religious faction, and we're sworn enemies of the religious-secular faction."

"I demand to speak with the manager!"

"It's the superintendent's idea of alternative dispute resolution."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

'We're all still learning the agree-to-disagree concept.'

You were warned about mixed marriages!

Welcome to the Gaza-strip: 'Someday all this will be yours son.'

Dalai Lama and Shimon Peres visits Norway

Bipartisan means when both political parties agree on something. Bipartisan agreements are now on the endangered species list.

"Today, I'm helping you understand teenage excuses. 'Why should I wash dishes?! I only used one fork!' Believe me, kids love that line."

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"Away with the warmonger!"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Israel/Palestine Conflict

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'