Conflict Resolution Specialist T-Shirts

"Ahh, the arbitration team is here."

'I'm going to train you to 'Confront Difficult People'... okay, raise your hands if you're a difficult person.'

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

"Actually we were hoping you'd encourage a more conciliatory approach to conflict management."

'And when all else fails...'

'Workplace conflict?'

"I admire Nesby because his agendas are never hidden."

'We like the teamwork idea, but Mr. Superstar won't let us play with his ball.'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

Donkey Fights

"Actually we were hoping you'd be encouraging a more conciliatry approach to conflict management."

"We could agree to disagree but then I'd just be preoccupied with you being wrong."

At an impasse, facing a brick wall.

'Hey, get out of my space!'

'I really hate conflict.'

'What you're saying basically is that you and Bob do not seem to see eye to eye...'

'Why do I get the feeling that he's not willing to leave our disagreement at the office?'

Soooo, you want to play hardball.

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

Now see, we couldn't have this kind of fun, if we met online.

'Look, Bernie, all I'm saying is I think you're riding the new guy pretty hard.'

Negotiator is a boxer with clout.

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"We could agree to disagree but then you'd still be wrong."

'I'm just the janitor here, but if he said that to me I'd punch his lights out.'

"To avoid trouble, I've brought in a troubleshooter."

'And the shower stall has to be this wide.'

'We're going to resolve every conflict in the company right now.'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"I wouldn't say I gave him a punch. I just gave him a three-dimensional emoticon."

"I'm sure if you two tried, you'd find all kinds of points of contact."

Mediation Process

"Why don't we enroll in a Conflict Resolution Program where we can study the underpinnings of conflict dynamics and implement strategies to foster sustainable peace?"

'We sat down, discussed the issues and realized that in fact, we had nothing to fight about...'