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Sometimes I wonder who is controlling whom.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

TV-Man

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'Don't look at me!'

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

Randolph maintains a stiff upper lip while the rest of him just goes to hell.

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

"We've just crossed the line between binge viewing and OCD viewing."

Are they dangerous? Only if I shut off the tv.

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."