Cotton Candy Critic Gifts

"If your parents ever go to a job fair, don't go. There's no rides, games or cotton candy."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

"If a fruit doesn't have a lolly flavour, is it a real fruit?"

"We like to think he's experimenting with color and form, but his art therapist suggested we're not giving him enough candy."

"Eating a diet rich in vibrant colors does not mean a bowl of Skittles."

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

'How come this sheep tastes like sugar?'

"The cookies are always stale."

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"Is there anybody there?"

The New Square Mile Regulator.

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

The Schematic map of Miss Mathilda's afternoon assortment box of Bonbons

"Med Brittle"

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

"And remember the rule: when the carpet is old, that's when we hold, when the carpet is new, that's when we spew!"

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

"I got horse dewormer..."

'These fortune cookies are outdated. They quote Greenspan instead of Bernanke.'

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

'Which one has the highest alcohol content?' 'That one.'

Cotton candy

Candy Land for Adults

"Let's see if there's another witch's cottage with a better candy selection."

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

-"For instance, this gin and tonic does not have a single molecule of gin in it!" -"It's from the staff canteen, right!"

'Kevin's Mom makes wonderful cookies. Let's go over to Eddie's house. His Mom makes wonderful lemonade.'

'These are Trans-Fat free, right?'