Cost-of-living Commentators Gifts

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Spot the difference.

The Shrinking Dollar.

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'That might work as your own personal mission statement. But what we're really shooting for here is something the whole company can get behind.'

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

Cold drinks, candy and corporate buyouts.

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"Old economy, new economy - some things never change."

Burbank Imposes Parking Fee on RVs

"Since when did economists become sociologists?!"

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

"We're going to have a post-flood economy to deal with."

Who blames who in health Insurance problems

'A market ruled by only three companies is bad for the customers and it puts down development and innovation. I would be a strong opponent to such a market, if I didn't own all three companies.'

"Today the market closed at exactly the right price, and all buyers and sellers were very happy."

This next piece is entitled "Concerto No. 2 in C Minor Blues." Sign the economy's hurting everyone.

We're changing from 'tried and true' to 'fly by the seat of our pants'. So, I'm afraid you're out, Tom !

'I believe in the free enterprise system. I haven't paid for anything in the past 27 years...'

Bureau of Inflation.

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

Working one day a year doesn't pay the bills

'I like the jib of their cuts.'

Rebuilding the Economy.

"We will create 12,000 new jobs...but we only need 4,000 new employees because on these salaries they'll need three jobs each to make a living!"

"I'm the writer-in-residence."

'I've begun spreading my wealth to offshore accounts.'

"Brodkin, now that the economy is creating jobs at a faster than expected clip, why don't you go out and find yourself one?"

Poor man and rich man

Austerity Egg Hunt.