Cosmopolitan Reader Gifts

Do you enjoy doing silly pop-psychological quizzes or not? Take our quiz to find out.

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

"The only hobby we tolerate is working on weekends."

'A is for Arse.'

"This is no time for fightin', princess, there's a war on!"

Spontaneous Kombucha

You know how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are known as "Kimye," and Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are known as "Branjelina"? I think we should combine "Lance" and "Gloria" into either "Lania" or "Glance." What do you think? I think I won't be needing a menu now, as I'll be busy gagging.

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

Creating dummy corporations for dummies.

Examination.

Trivia/Great Literature.

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

"And what self respecting tabloid do you think is going to buy photos of Little Foot?"

Highlights for Adults

Library: Self-Help Books and Blame a 'Rigged' Political System.

"Really Mum? Natural selection gave us short arms to stop us from picking our noses?"

'Here's an interesting article. 'Cold or Seasonal Allergy?''

'She's the worst gossip I've ever come across.'

The Swiss Arm-y Wife

D. H. Lawrence

"We'd love to stay longer, but we have to go. Give this to the tabloid press. It explains everything!"

News and Magazines. New Economic Regulations. "New economic regulations" --- What do you suppose they are? "Come to a complete stop"?

Woman reading: 'How to look hot on the beach this summer.'

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

'Which? Covid-19 Variant' Guide.

". . . and if anyone here knows any reason why these two should not be wed, any reason at all, like, say, something that might have happened after a long heart-to-heart and a few too many drinks, for instance, last week maybe, something you felt bad enough to bring to Confession, which you definitely should have, because it's pretty serious- anyway, speak now..."

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

'For the sake of convenience everybody just calls me Joe.'

"It's not funny peculiar or funny ha ha, it's funny New Yorker."

Liberals' Wishful Thinking about Joe Biden