Cosmologist Gifts

The Universe Before the Big Bang (Actual Size).

"Hey Arthur, check it out, a shooting star. That's a sure sign of luck, my friend."

The Cosmology of Timmy

'Sorry I'm late, but you know how the Universe keeps expanding.'

Mr. Science Times

Astronomer reaching for the stars through a telescope (with his hand coming out of the top, near the stars).

Cosmology marches on. . .

Trying to describe the size of the Big Bang.

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

Stephen Hawking.

"Ground control? It seems we have found the origin of the universe."

'If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?'

'Sorry I'm late, but you know how the Universe keeps expanding.'

'Actually I can't even figure out the origin of this organization.'

Did life reach Earth from outer space?

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

'You're 'only' ten minutes late?-- do you realize how far the Universe has EXPANDED in those ten minutes?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

Anti-Matter Meets Dark Energy

Cosmology

Our Universe: Matter (.0001%), Dark Matter (40%), Spam (60%)

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"Ha! You call that little pop a bang? Lemme show you what a really big bang is like."

"What, then, is theorigin of cosmology? Some say it has always been with us and always will be. Some think it arrived spontaneously, while others feel it started very small and is expanding..."

The Big Bag Theory

"Who knows? Maybe it's their way of greeting visitors."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"They've found a moon going round a planet going round a star which is a sun eight thousand light years away in our galaxy the Milky Way which has billions of stars, many with planets with moons going round, and there are billions of stars, many with planets with moons going round, and there are billions of galaxies. . . ."

"Starlight...starbright...First star I see tonight..."

"This song is dedicated to all of you who have been having a hard time deciding between the big bang and steady state theories."

"No one will believe us - it's always the alternate cosmology institutes who come up with alternate universes."

"At this point cosmology leaves off, and folklore kicks in."

"No wonder I feel dizzy. As I lie here I'm travelling at 1000 mph due to the rotation of the earth and at 67000 mph as the earth goes round the sun and I've just read the whole solar system is moving..."