Cosmic Ponderers T-Shirts

Zen Bowling.

How come Mercury gets the car pool lane? He's alone and we've got all these moons!

Information. if the universe is expanding, how come real estate prices keep going up?

'The whole universe maybe just an atom underneath a giants fingernail...'

"Why would your god (an incomprehensibly vast cosmic mind who created the entire universe from massive black holes to the tiniest of quantum particles) ever care about men having anal?"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'But what is the universe for?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

God Sneezes Out Creation

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Quantum Psychic

The Origins of Everything

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

Ten Commandments

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"Hey, Bob. Things haven't been quite the same since Richard Attenborough arrived here, have they?"

"Shall we put it in play?"

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

"I don't see HIS name on it."