Cosmic Negotiators Pillows

"I hear the Universe is expanding - set up a meeting with their people."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Changing Minds

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

Iraqi Insurgents.

"Call it wishful thinking, but I don't think this peace will last. . . ."

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

"But it will never get better if you picket"

"Who do we talk to about buying your planet?"

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

Playing With Peace

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"The aliens asked about music, too! With my help, they were able to reconstruct the most magical instrument on Earth!"

Eagle attacking the Dove of Peace

'Damn it, he's lawyered up! By the time this works its way through the courts he'll be out of season!'

Unison plans strikes

"Is there room for me?"

"My job is not as easy as it looks: You have to learn about astronomy and celestial mechanics to be able to accurately predict sunrise and sunset..."

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

'Bill, we've decided to increase your sales territory.'

'Listen, I obeyed more or less 25% of your commandments. Don't you think that I deserve a promotion or at least a little raise for that?'

London underground talks continued

'Hi, Mom!'

"You're part of the NASA Space Program! Really? I've heard that lame pick-up line sooo many times..."

"Be right in, I just brought my lucky chair."